Stella and Zoey on their 2nd birthday…

Its finally here!  My squishy, funny little ladies turned 2 today.  I can’t even wrap my head around the last 2 years.  I think it will take even more time than I imagined!  Just a little to remind you and me what you both were like when you turned 2:

Zoey,

You are a sweetheart that takes most of life in stride.  You have an independent streak and are generally a happy soul.  You pick up things fast, especially any kind of mechanical,  hands on sort of project.  This can be great because you usually figure out things yourself before we show you or this can be challenging, if the thing you are figuring out is, say, the baby gate.  You LOVE to run around and sing.  In fact, I love when you run the most because your little cheeks and “chookies” (cheeks below your cheeks) bounce around too!  You are so darn cute and also very charming with those big brown eyes of yours.  You still have a baby buddah belly and your hair is finally getting long.  You love wearing pig tails and are often the first one to brush your teeth, get dressed and get your shoes on (you also love anything that sparkles!).  Unfortunately you sometimes have a hard time waiting on your sisters.  You have also taken an interest in the potty lately, to my delight.  Maybe you will be the first one potty trained?  You have a bit of a jokester streak in you too, pushing your sister’s buttons (especially Stella) and making your own sort of jokes, even different funny faces to suit the situation.  You are both funny and cute: a bad combo!  You seem to be very comfortable with other kids outside of our family too and its funny to see you start interacting with peers.  You love to cuddle on the couch at night and watch cartoons or read books, but you are always the first to hop off the couch after just 5 minutes and find something independent to do.  You don’t like to sit around and watch the world go by!  You love to eat all kinds of fruit, especially blueberries.  You also really like noodles and your milk and are learning to drink from a cup.  You especially like to do anything that Lucy does and often copy her playing, the things she says and how she does things.  You really love her.  Lucy really likes to play with you too.  There are a million reasons I like you, but these are just a few.  Happy Birthday my Zoe-Zoe!  You are growing every minute and I can’t wait to see what my little independent woman looks like at 3 years!  Love, Mommy

Zoey eating her 2nd birthday dinner at Mississippi Mudds

Zoey

Stella,

Stella you have had quite a year.  Just thinking back, you haven’t even been walking a full year yet, but man have you grown.  You are even a little taller than Zoey, but have this tiny, light, skinny body….definitely a Dettbarn.  When I look at you, you remind me of Daddy and Grampy Dettbarn.  You are a spitting image of Daddy when he was your age, believe it or not- even the way you “sniff” your yellow blankie when you are really tired.  Lately, you have been working on learning more words with a speech therapist once a week and your family.  You are doing amazing and I’ve lost count of all your new words.  Just tonight you were dragging me around the park pointing at all the wildlife!  You seem much less frustrated and happier all around.  At the same time, you have really started to LOVE reading, probably more than either of your sisters.  You will sit and read all day with us.  You also love wildlife, looking for critters outside and notice the smallest details on anything nature-related- trees, in the sky, bugs, you name it.  You are a budding naturalist at heart, which makes me proud.  You are not a fan of getting your hair done or getting dressed, but when it really counts, like bandaging the cut on your foot lately or at visits to the dentist or doctor, you are excellent.  You are also learning to play with other kids your age.  You are shy when other kids are around besides your sisters, but you have also always been a bit closer and depended on Mommy and Daddy a little more.  You are especially close to Mommy and Daddy and you love frequent cuddles, being held a lot and being carried.  We are all working on giving you some more opportunities for your own independence and I can see you trying hard lately.  I know two years is a tough time.  You’ve been a baby for 2 years and now, all of the sudden you are expected to not only do lots of things yourself, but you are being physically distanced from us especially when there are 3 of you that need so much attention often.  However, you do like to have your own quiet space and take your own time to finish projects or tasks.  It is clear you enjoy working hard, are determined, motivated and are very proud of yourself when you do something you’ve set out to do.  Unfortunately, you get interrupted by any number of people and circumstances often and this is a challenge for you.  Luckily, you are learning to be adaptable, which I think will be your greatest strength.  Another thing everyone knows about you is that you love to eat!  You eat and eat and eat.  You love just about all kinds of food and will try anything, especially pickles and any kind of “dipping” condiment.  You were born in Buffalo after all!  Like Zoey, you love to snuggle, especially on the couch and you are quick to literally fall over asleep if you’ve been especially worn out.  You love your sisters so, its like glue.  You just can’t get enough of Zoey and chase her around with your funny faces, making her giggle non-stop.  I can even hear both of you up in your cribs going back and forth with laughs!  Your smile is infectious, your cute as a button and man, are you charming in your own quiet way.  Happy 2nd birthday my Stelley Belley!  I love you to pieces in every way and seeing you grow is a joy.  I can’t wait to see what your third year brings!  Love, Mommy

Stella eating her birthday dinner at Mississippi Mudds

Stella

Maybe I should work backwards to recap the rest of this weekend?

Today we celebrated Z & S’s birthdays by doing one of our favorite things- swimming!  We joined our other favorite set of twins, Wes and Andrew, and their hot Mommy, Aunt Margie, and Nana Stefko at the wading pool.  I could just eat these two boys up.  They are the cutest little red heads!  I also fell in love with those pink tutu bathing suits my grandma got the twins for their birthdays!

Sharing crackers

Tutu bathing suits from great gram

Nana Stefko and Wes

Pelczynski twins

2 sets of twins and a singleton

WES!

Girls and boys

Little Lucy in the pool

pastey-white redheads

2 sets of twins

Nana with a sleepy Drew-man

Zoey in her B-day tutu

Why, its a blue ball!

This morning we were lazy and it was grand.  We celebrated with dinner at Mississippi Mudds over looking the Niagara River and Niawanda Park and some playtime at the playground.  A perfect day when you are two!

Little duckies following Daddy at Niawanda Park

The fam celebrating Z & S’s 2nd birthday with a dinner overlooking the Niagara River

Lucy telling her new friend”my two sisters are Zoey and Stella and they are getting bigger and bigger all the time”

Saturday was a lazy day as well but we had a great time at Jonas (4th) and Nafie’s (2nd) birthday party.  We played in the pool, broke a squid pinata, played Pin the Tail on the Blue Whale and ate our hearts out, especially the yummy undersea themed cake.  Awesome party Creeds!  Unfortunately, it was so fun, I have no pictures!

Friday was a great day as well.  We got to visit the Aquarium and touch some real live sea creatures!  Lucy loved holding the clam (a safe bet), Zoey enjoyed the tiny fleshy tube feet of the sea star and Stella loved holding the hermit crab.  We also got to touch some turtles and learn how they like to be held too.  What an awesome activity and so glad we became members so we can do it again… like every week.

Learning how to touch turtles at the Aquarium

Creedlets

We also got some great presents from Great Gram, my grandmother.  She sent all the right things- sparkly and pink!  The girls love their tutus, dresses and glamour shoes, along with their new coloring books and markers.  Thanks Great!

Presents from Great Gram!

On top of that, I’ve made some good progress on the sustainability curriculum I am working on thanks to an awesome meeting with Don and Katy Friday night.  Thanks for the hospitality and all kinds of good conversation, including a glimpse into life with older little girls.

I’ve also been running consistently despite the heat and have been able to shave time off and will be starting into 2 miles next week.  I just have to remind myself why I am doing it (alone time!) to get out the door.  Some days I feel ready by lunch to just take off and run!  HA!  I am trying to pick a great first race and have my eyes on the Glen Iris run Sept. 11th at Letchworth.  That would be awesome.

Now, off to see what next week brings!

Zoey sporting the white fuzzy tiara by The Pelczynski Family

Jonas helps Zoey open her presents by The Pelczynski Family

Not sure what to make of the singing. by The Pelczynski Family

The birthday girls by The Pelczynski Family

Stella enjoys her cupcake by The Pelczynski Family

Zoey waiting for the singing to end by The Pelczynski Family

Zoey opening a card by The Pelczynski Family

Seriously guys, is there frosting on my face? by The Pelczynski Family

Nafe devising a strategy to eat the cupcake by The Pelczynski Family

Ladybug Lucy supervises the day’s events by The Pelczynski Family

Aunt Chris and Lucy by dettbarn

Cupcake party by dettbarn

Lucy after the party by dettbarn

Zoey with all her necklaces after the party by dettbarn

Aftermath!! by dettbarn

Zoey and Stella,

So, after 2 years, what can I say?  I guess I will need to think on that and repost on your actual birthdays in honor of the incredible adventures we’ve had the last 2 years.  One thing is for sure, I can’t imagine our lives without you both!  How did you know you’d be a perfect fit and just what we needed before you even came along?  I love you both equally but differently and you both continue to amaze me

My two have mysteriously started to contract a case of the twos. It’s so frustrating, this first leap of independence. It’s been some rough times lately. Lots of crying, clinging and fussing, and not just the kids. My babies aren’t babies anymore.

With Lucy it was easy to let go when she reached 2. I had to. There was much else on the plate. She became such a lovely independent, free thinking and creative soul partly because we gave her the room, even if by necessity, to explore that solo. The twins are harder for me to let go. They are my babies.

Zoey has always been the most confident and independent of all 3, so it’s going to be easier to let her go. Stella, however, is my little peach. I cannot be blamed, totally. To know her, you know how incredibly cute, funny and charming she can be. However, lately, combined with the upcoming growing pains and major adjustments in her impending 3rd year, she is just going to need a stronger push in that direction than Lucy and even Zoey requires. We are both attached strongly to each other.

I had a nice conversation with the pediatrician tonight about in essence, letting go. I have to humbly remind myself yet again, that you must step out of the way of the one you love in order for them to be able to step forward on their own. Or my new favorite quote: “you must fall down to grow up” (not sure who that is by). I gotta do what’s not easy, but right: let go a little more of them both now when they need to turn to themselves and become full fledged independence seeking, dare devil, try anything, run every where toddlers.

One year ago Zoey and Stella were healthy enough to come home for the first time from the NICU! They were both in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth to gain weight and for Zoey, to be able to stabilize her own body temperature (wondering if this had any connection to her extra cranial fluids?) and for Stella, to learn to eat well (which is definitely not a problem now!). They both came home together (yay!) and were so tiny that they still didn’t fill out preemie clothes, were just under 5 lbs. and the car seat straps didn’t tighten enough to fit around their bodies so we had to pad around them with NICU wash cloths. Packing them up in the NICU that night was so amazing and moving that we didn’t get any pictures of it, except for a grainy one on JD’s phone. There was so much stuff crammed into the stroller around the babies that they sent us home with that it seemed we were leaving for the wilderness for a year (well.. that’s kinda true). The NICU staff walked us out, gave hugs and all kinds of advice. I think we both had feelings of joy and relief mixed with overwhelming fear of what lie ahead. Just 2 days later we celebrated 6 years of being married!

I have very few memories of the last year, but some of the most vivid ones are of the NICU and the caring, reassuring conversations the nurses had with me while I sat in that darkened quiet room with my girls as they slept.  And the long, silent, awkward ride up to the NICU in the wheel chair by a hospital worker when I would come every day to visit but wasn’t well enough to walk there myself. Then there was the young, unmarried mother of twin 2 yr. old girls that found out 1 week before she delivered (about a week after I delivered our girls) that she was having another set of twins. They also turned out to be twin girls. She was pacing around in the NICU waiting room in her gown not even 24 hrs. after their birth in a horrible daze. She was laughing off and on too with a worried look on her face, while her family swirled around her on their phones spreading the incredible news.

Its amazing how life can change literally in one heartbeat- mom and babies’- and leave us reeling with so much joy and so much anxiety at once. I remember hanging on moment by moment. Calling the NICU every 3 hours, even through the night, to keep tabs on how much each ate, Zoey’s temperature, have a little conversation with their nurse and when they’d be home. It seemed like they would never come home and now, a year later, I can’t imagine not having a house full over chattering, bickering, dancing, smiling and screeching ladies. I think often of how lucky we are and how close we teetered to the fragile edge on many occasions through the pregnancy, birth and 1st year with Zoey and Stella. The gravity of those early, worrisome, sleepless and fleeting days will surely never leave me.

It’s been an amazing ride. One I certainly never expected to take, but I’m glad it happened. There have certainly been rough times for all of us and we’ve certainly all made life difficult for one another at various points, but I have no doubt that we’ll be a stronger family for it — the love between all of us is obvious, even when we’re exhausted and/or frustrated.

Melisa, you are an amazing person. You have dealt with so much the last two years and you keep coming back for more. You are a role model for sure. A talented, loving natural parent and juggler of three (sometimes four) babies, (if you count Milo!). I’m not sure how you do it ever day.You’ve got things down to a science and the house runs like clockwork, until I get home and mess things up. You have certainly taught me a lot and I only hope I can keep improving as a parent, in order to catch up to you one day. I love you and look up to you in every way.

Lucy, you are an amazing kid. Most days you handle being the ‘big’ sister (at two) really well. You’re even starting to be very sweet to your sisters, telling them you love them, sharing your toys, and helping momma out. It’s been a tough road and I can only imagine what it’s like to be at a point in life where you expect all the attention, only to have to share it with two sisters. You are blossoming into a sweet, intelligent kid, though, and I love you dearly. We built up a special bond when momma was pregnant with your sisters and I’m really glad we were able to do that – it really helped me get comfortable with being a parent, being able to open up and just have fun. I’m really looking forward to watching you grow up.

Zoey, you are probably the sweetest kid in the house – which is amazing given how fussy and crabby you were during the first few months. We now know what could have contributed to that, but in the end nothing beats the smile you give me when I walk in the room or come home from work. It makes the day instantly better. Your snuggles and hugs are pretty good too. You seem genuinely happy, which is amazing after all you’ve been through. I know it’s been hard for you, not being completely mobile, in a house with two very mobile sisters… not getting the attention, not being able to join in with your sisters right away, not to mention being able to move… but, in the end I think it’s helped us bond with you more. I know my love for you grows with every smile you give, every time you snuggle in when I pick you up, and every time you try to share your pacifier with me. Always stay happy and sweet, Zo-Zo.

Stella, Stella, Stella. Why do I have a feeling you’ll be the one giving us the most trouble when you are a teenager (definitely not the temper tantrums or mischievous behavior that started at like 6 months… nah) ?! Seriously, though, you are hilarious. Always talking, always doing funny, off-beat stuff, and always getting into things. Your smile and laugh is infectious, for sure. You certainly put a smile on our faces! You are incredibly active and always keep us (and your sisters) on our toes. Lucy has become very good at “No, Stella! No!” any time you even look at her.  You adore her regardless. It’s very obvious you love your sisters. Always talking to them and smiling. You are going to be a great sister and friend to them. For me, since you’re the youngest (by 12 minutes) and smallest, you’ve always had a special place in my heart… I’m just not looking forward to the day you are slamming your door and calling me the “murderer of love!” Always stay who you are, Stella.

As you can see, we have quite the spectrum of personalities in our household. It’s made our journey to this point even more interesting and I know it will only continue to get better in the years to come. I am really looking forward to seeing you all grow up, forge even better relationships with all of you, and grow as a family. I love you all very much!

Jason/Dad  - 7.18.2009

On a side note, the few memories I have are from the first few weeks:  Sitting alone with the babies in a silent dark NICU room.  My Dad sitting on the couch with me on his computer giving JD and myself (and everyone else we know) personality tests while the kids slept when he stayed with us (sorry Mom, no memories of you with us, except one with you standing in the doorway of our house strangely).  Jump to Halloween- bringing Lucy around the neighborhood and having a good time, but wierdly I don’t have any memory of where the twins were (in the stroller?).  Next memory is Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ house in Ballston Lake with Brian and Lacy.  Anyway, you get the picture.  I have to really sit here and work at it to recall any memories.  Pictures help, but even then, its like I don’t recognize myself.

But why should I?  I am a completely different person to the core after this year.  More on that later I suppose or maybe not.  It will take some serious time and reflection to figure out what the hell happened to me this year.  One thing is for sure: I like who I’ve grown into this year a million times better than who I was before, and for that, I will be thankful my entire life.  I am more humble, don’t take things as granted and am less judgmental.

So, an update!  We are almost there girlies!  This first birthday thing will truly feel like a celebration for the mom and dad, as they say!

People always ask, How are the girls?  And my reply is, Oh, their good.   Generic, boring and well, they are good anyway.  Here is more of a little peak at all of them lately.

Stella:  We may have identified the future ring leader/mastermind behind all attempts to sneak out and generally be mischevious in the teen years!  Stella has grown from a quiet baby that just liked to look around and observe to a very active and eccentric almost-toddler.  Stella crawls and she just doesn’t crawl to be curious.  She chases me, Lucy, the cat and anything else with a huge smile on her face and the occasional snickery laugh.  She always has that look in her eye- I will charm you, draw you in and then I will try to do what I want!  She laughs and smiles almost constantly, but also gets frustrated as easily.  She bangs her head on the floor when we take a toy away, she screams and writhes on the floor when we attempt to change her diaper and literally throws a temper tantrum when she has to wait for what she wants.  She eats like an absolute pig and I don’t mean just eats a lot- she really does eat like a pig!  She scarfs the food down and screams the second its gone for more!  She is definitely a live wire of a kid.   She is fantastically fun, but she is also the one I have to watch like a hawk for getting into things.  She is little, quick, stubborn, sneaky and incredibly funny.  She just started saying Da-da recently and started crawling a couple of weeks ago.  It will be interesting to see where these early personality leanings may take her (and us)!

Zoey: Wow, has Zoey changed a lot too.  Zoey started out life chronically unhappy it seemed.  We were always worried for her as she cried constantly, seemingly without reason, didn’t seem to want to be held at all and generally didn’t have a warm personality.  In the beginning she was so hard to connect with, which worried me sick.

If you recall she had some issues with some extra spinal fluid around her cerebrum and in the cerebral spaces, which we discovered around 6 months old.  It was deemed that this was not a normal occurrence, but not totally out of the ordinary either.  The condition was watched and over time the fluid actually began to dissipate and look less and less likely that she would have long term health and developmental issues.  At our last check up with the neurosurgeon, it seemed this issue was resolving completely and we go back for another check up in September to check again.  But, at this point all seems fine with that.  One interesting thing the neurosurgeon did say was that the extra pressure on the brain could have caused the fussiness and crying in the early days.  I always wonder if she was in chronic pain from that, making those first months for us and her so hard.

So, now, Zoey is the calmest baby we have.  She is so sweet, gentle, chubby, rosy cheeked, wide eyed, soft and snuggly.  She definitely gets tired when she gets tired and gets fussy, but literally thats about the only time she cries now.  She leans in to give kisses, was the first to wave hello to us and try to say her first word (besides da-da), Peekaboo (or da-da-boo).  Today she even said Ma-ma!  When you hug her she grabs on tight and puts her little face into your neck.  Even when I carry her in the backpack carrier, she leans forward to rest her cubby cheeks on the back of my neck.  She is definitely more low key than Lucy or Stella and goes with the flow easier.  Her smile is also contagious- when she smiles her whole body radiates.  She doesn’t have any interest in crawling however, but LOVES to walk with your fingers and on the walker.  In fact, that’s all she wants to do.  Maybe she’ll skip to walking all together.  For all the talk of possible delays because of this fluid issue on the brain, she has been the one to do most things first out of the two of them.

Interestingly though, they seem to do things in the opposite, just like their personalities are different.  As twins go, they are very different and anyone who knows them well can usually tell them apart by now.  But, if you know anything about fraternal twins, they are just two different siblings that happen to be born at the same time.  Twin misconceptions are fascinating to me, especially the odd questions we get in the stores.  Having these two has been an incredible personal study in science, genetics, family history and social aspects of child-rearing- especially for a science teacher like myself!

Lucy:  Just when I get thinking of how tough this last year must have been on Lucy, I remind myself of how lucky she is to have two sisters that adore her, that she can boss around, mother like crazy and will eventually and hopefully be her close confidants.  The best gift I think we could give her was a sibling and we outdid ourselves (ha ha).  This year has taught us all a lot about the power of sticking together and leaning on one another, her included.  Its not all about Lucy anymore and I think she has more than rose to the occasion.

Lucy is still the naturally inquistive, extremely busy, quick and clever kid she always was.  She is outgoing, open, expressive and quick to make friends although I rarely see her make the first move; in other words, she isn’t the real agressive type, although having some competition from Zoey and Stella now might change that.

She is also very, very verbal.  She uses 4-5 word sentences and her father believes “she talks almost constantly, like someone else I know..”  Hmm…wonder who that could be?  She loves being outside and LOVES animals.  However, she is terrified of bugs and things in nature that may move quickly (leaves, wind, tree branches, etc.) or are just different (sand).  It takes her time to warm up to new situations and fully jump in, although she’ll keep exploring even if she is scared.    She loves tutus, dancing like a ballerina, dancing in general, dancing in the department store bathroom, dancing while in line… well you understand.  The kid is busy and likes to move almost constantly.  She also likes to climb, climb, climb.  We spend a lot of time at playgrounds too.  She likes her dresses, but the minute the interfere with her movement, forget it- their off!  Most of her friends are boys, which is good- we learn a lot from them.  However, she seems to be pretty confident in being herself, even in the midst of other persuasions.

She is definitely asserting her independence lately too and its so bittersweet.  She knows what she must do in and in order to grow she has to push us away a bit.  You can see in her eye that she wants to do things all alone, but its a scary proposition to let go of the comfort zone of mom and dad.  What a confusing, frustrating and dynamic age.  I’d be lying if I didn’t lose my cool much more than I wish.  I try to remind myself that I am growing up and wrapping my head around all of this with her too.  Imagine what it must feel like for a 2 year old.  I can’t even think of what this house will be like in a year when we have 2 two year olds and a 3 year old asserting themselves!

JD and I: Not much new here!  JD is enjoying his new passion for Battlestar Galactica (he he) but has slowly fallen away from old hobbies as a young family requires.  The girls (including me!) keep him pretty busy.  :)  He still has time to do his computer stuff, which for me is too technical and confusing to record here!  I am finishing up a project 8 months in the making for the Buffalo Museum of Science designing camps and it feels good to see it finally coming to fruition.  I will return to teaching in the Fall at Pembroke and am very excited to get back in there with some new ideas.  We’ve also hired 2 part time nannies to care for the girls while we are both working.  One has already started babysitting and the girls love her.  We are very thankful for that.   We also began a babysitting co-op on our block that might be expanding to be a real deal and we are anxiously awaiting a new addition in the house next door (tomorrow!) and Margie’s twin boys on the way later this summer.  I’ll finally be an aunt (x2).. well sort of!  I am growing veggies again with Lucy (they were planted on her birthday!), we get to see friends and family almost every day so life is good.  And seems to getting to a new sort of “normal”.  I am glad, very glad for that.  :)

Melisa and I took Zoey to the neurologist yesterday for a formal evaluation. We received word from our pediatrician late last week that Zoey was in no immediate danger nor had any serious issues, so we were planning on a quick meeting and exam. Things didn’t quite work out like we planned, but they weren’t necessarily bad either. The basic idea we took from yesterday is we’re not out of the woods yet, so Zoey will require more evaluation and monitoring.

The doctor is concerned about three things:

1) Benign excess craniocerebral fluid. Basically there is an elevated (but still within normal levels) amount of fluid between her brain and skull. She said this is fairly common and should correct itself by the time Zoey is 2 years old.

2) Craniosynostosis. Occurs in one in 2,000 live births. This is when the skull bones fuse together too quickly and can cause problems with skull and brain growth. Zoey’s CT scan did not show evidence of this, but due to her physical characteristics (larger head, forehead shape, and ridge at suture line on left side of head), the doctor would like to monitor Zoey.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Craniosynostosis

3) Hydrocephalus. (aka “water on the brain”) Occurs in one in 500 live births. Once again, physical characteristics (larger head, sometimes tense fontanel, ridge on left suture, prominent scalp veins) lead us to caution, but symptoms such as weak appetite, seizures, and sleepiness are not present at all. The neurologist wants to monitor this as well.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Hydrocephalus

So, with that said, we’re heading back to Children’s in one month for another CT scan and evaluation. This time we’ll get to meet with the neurologist right after the CT scan, so no waiting a week to hear the results.

My gut says Zoey is OK – she’s hitting milestones and seems pretty normal otherwise, but I am also glad we’re following through to make sure she is OK and continues to develop normally. It seems like diagnosing and taking care of these problems before the end of the first year is important, so if she does need help we’re definitely doing the right thing at the right time.

We appreciate all the support and well wishes we’ve received over the last couple weeks! We’ll keep everyone posted as we receive updates.

In other news, both babies are eating cereal and started “yellow/orange” vegetables.  Seeing that they eat enough for a small village (especially Zoey) we are going to work on making our own baby food (I may be out of my mind, but I am always saying to myself, “I had twins- how hard could this be?”).  This makes sense for a lot of reasons: 1) its darn expensive with two (hence the nursing), 2) I was never completely sure what was in those neat little factory packed containers of baby food anyway 3)baby food is notoriously wasteful in its packaging.  After all, its just water and blended veggies or fruit.  Again, how hard could it be?  On the other hand, I am a bit anxious about keeping all their food likes and dislikes and particulars straight.  But, at each step forward I am always a little nervous and nothing feels like a big deal after a first try.  I am sure it’ll be fine.

I already can’t imagine not doing things in doubles (or triples with Lucy) as is the case around here.  Three bottles, sets of clothes, snowsuits, hats, car seats, checking of seat belt straps, picking up blankets, giving kisses, making cereal, finding pacifiers long gone under the table, etc.  Dress up to go out, undress when we get there, dress up to go back in the car and undress when we get back inside x 3.  Then Lucy snack, feed both babies, change all 3 diapers, put 3 down for naps (or attempt to), breathe, get them all up from naps, change diapers, feed and finally, smile and laugh with them.  Whew.  Never felt more alive in my life.  And tired. 

Wish us luck tomorrow as we watch our “middle” baby girl from a window as she gets strapped down to a table and moved through a tube.  I don’t know if I am more worried for her or the technicians that have to hear her deafening, ear piercing, totally pissed off cries.  That’s my girl.

I hesitated to post this because the last 2 weeks have been the hardest and longest roller coaster for Jason and I and Lucy for sure and I really, really don’t want to get my hopes up about them coming home at any certain day.  Who knows, maybe they will end up not getting home tomorrow.  Its really hour by hour.  However, they had 4 more sets of twins (2 girl-girl- all in our girls’ pod, 1 boy-boy and 1boy-girl) born and put into the NICU in one night recently so they are kinda edging ours out the door! 

On the other hand, its pretty scary thinking about both of them home with Lucy and how we will juggle everyone’s needs and spend quality time with each of them- let alone get them all fed!  My neighbor and good friend, who had her second son 3 days before we had the twins (we were in the hospital together too!) told me her goals for this summer were for no one to get hurt and everyone to stay fed!  HA!  Very realistic actually!  In all seriousness though, we know those sleepless nights all too well and how easy it is to wear thin and not be at your best for each other in these difficult times.  BUT, Its totally true that you find out what you’re made of, how strong you are, how vulnerable you are, how strong you can be for each other and what you can take for each other at times like this.  This is without a doubt the hardest time of our lives so far and I am sure we’ll still continue to struggle for a while once both the girls are home.  These are also the times of incredible growth too, which I really look forward to and know we’ll be proud of later.

I have to also thank everyone who’s been supportive of us through all of this either by spending time with Lucy, giving me rides to the hospital everyday since I still can’t drive from surgery, holding the babies in between feedings at the hospital, bringing food to us or simply sharing laughs and listening through tears.  I also have to thank Lucy for being so patient, sweet, happy, understanding and flexible with us and all the running around and upheaval that’s been our life the last several months since I was put on modified bed rest in May.  She is really the best kid in the world and has never complained or been anyone other than her laid back, contented self through all this. Thanks to both our Moms and Dads, Aunt Chris and Uncle Bill, our siblings, Brian and Kari, my Gram and Aunt Michelle, Aunt Marge, Kim, Melissa and other friends and family members that sent along good wishes and gifts!  I know that you’ll all say to me “Stop thanking me already!” but really, you have no idea how its pulled us through.

Ok- I’m off to tie up some last minute loose ends before tomorrow!  I am hoping I can post some great (but tired) news very soon!