Shot this tonight on my phone. Stella loves ride on toys!
Our journey with three girls 13 months apart in age – Lucy & twins Stella and Zoey
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Clockwise: Stella in her open crib @ 2 weeks old, with Jason filling out discharge paperwork, Zoey in her incubator until she was able to regulate her body temperature on her own at around 2 weeks old, Zoey about a week old, Stella about a week old with a feeding tube.
One year ago Zoey and Stella were healthy enough to come home for the first time from the NICU! They were both in the hospital for 2 weeks after birth to gain weight and for Zoey, to be able to stabilize her own body temperature (wondering if this had any connection to her extra cranial fluids?) and for Stella, to learn to eat well (which is definitely not a problem now!). They both came home together (yay!) and were so tiny that they still didn’t fill out preemie clothes, were just under 5 lbs. and the car seat straps didn’t tighten enough to fit around their bodies so we had to pad around them with NICU wash cloths. Packing them up in the NICU that night was so amazing and moving that we didn’t get any pictures of it, except for a grainy one on JD’s phone. There was so much stuff crammed into the stroller around the babies that they sent us home with that it seemed we were leaving for the wilderness for a year (well.. that’s kinda true). The NICU staff walked us out, gave hugs and all kinds of advice. I think we both had feelings of joy and relief mixed with overwhelming fear of what lie ahead. Just 2 days later we celebrated 6 years of being married!
I have very few memories of the last year, but some of the most vivid ones are of the NICU and the caring, reassuring conversations the nurses had with me while I sat in that darkened quiet room with my girls as they slept. And the long, silent, awkward ride up to the NICU in the wheel chair by a hospital worker when I would come every day to visit but wasn’t well enough to walk there myself. Then there was the young, unmarried mother of twin 2 yr. old girls that found out 1 week before she delivered (about a week after I delivered our girls) that she was having another set of twins. They also turned out to be twin girls. She was pacing around in the NICU waiting room in her gown not even 24 hrs. after their birth in a horrible daze. She was laughing off and on too with a worried look on her face, while her family swirled around her on their phones spreading the incredible news.
Its amazing how life can change literally in one heartbeat- mom and babies’- and leave us reeling with so much joy and so much anxiety at once. I remember hanging on moment by moment. Calling the NICU every 3 hours, even through the night, to keep tabs on how much each ate, Zoey’s temperature, have a little conversation with their nurse and when they’d be home. It seemed like they would never come home and now, a year later, I can’t imagine not having a house full over chattering, bickering, dancing, smiling and screeching ladies. I think often of how lucky we are and how close we teetered to the fragile edge on many occasions through the pregnancy, birth and 1st year with Zoey and Stella. The gravity of those early, worrisome, sleepless and fleeting days will surely never leave me.
The twins first birthday! Happy Birthday Zoey and Stella. Can’t believe it’s been one year already. Time certainly flies by, although I do feel like I’ve aged about 5 years in that time!
It’s been an amazing ride. One I certainly never expected to take, but I’m glad it happened. There have certainly been rough times for all of us and we’ve certainly all made life difficult for one another at various points, but I have no doubt that we’ll be a stronger family for it — the love between all of us is obvious, even when we’re exhausted and/or frustrated.
Melisa, you are an amazing person. You have dealt with so much the last two years and you keep coming back for more. You are a role model for sure. A talented, loving natural parent and juggler of three (sometimes four) babies, (if you count Milo!). I’m not sure how you do it ever day.You’ve got things down to a science and the house runs like clockwork, until I get home and mess things up. 
You have certainly taught me a lot and I only hope I can keep improving as a parent, in order to catch up to you one day. I love you and look up to you in every way.
Lucy, you are an amazing kid. Most days you handle being the ‘big’ sister (at two) really well. You’re even starting to be very sweet to your sisters, telling them you love them, sharing your toys, and helping momma out. It’s been a tough road and I can only imagine what it’s like to be at a point in life where you expect all the attention, only to have to share it with two sisters. You are blossoming into a sweet, intelligent kid, though, and I love you dearly. We built up a special bond when momma was pregnant with your sisters and I’m really glad we were able to do that – it really helped me get comfortable with being a parent, being able to open up and just have fun. I’m really looking forward to watching you grow up.
Zoey, you are probably the sweetest kid in the house – which is amazing given how fussy and crabby you were during the first few months. We now know what could have contributed to that, but in the end nothing beats the smile you give me when I walk in the room or come home from work. It makes the day instantly better. Your snuggles and hugs are pretty good too. You seem genuinely happy, which is amazing after all you’ve been through. I know it’s been hard for you, not being completely mobile, in a house with two very mobile sisters… not getting the attention, not being able to join in with your sisters right away, not to mention being able to move… but, in the end I think it’s helped us bond with you more. I know my love for you grows with every smile you give, every time you snuggle in when I pick you up, and every time you try to share your pacifier with me. Always stay happy and sweet, Zo-Zo.
Stella, Stella, Stella. Why do I have a feeling you’ll be the one giving us the most trouble when you are a teenager (definitely not the temper tantrums or mischievous behavior that started at like 6 months… nah) ?! Seriously, though, you are hilarious. Always talking, always doing funny, off-beat stuff, and always getting into things. Your smile and laugh is infectious, for sure. You certainly put a smile on our faces! You are incredibly active and always keep us (and your sisters) on our toes. Lucy has become very good at “No, Stella! No!” any time you even look at her. You adore her regardless. It’s very obvious you love your sisters. Always talking to them and smiling. You are going to be a great sister and friend to them. For me, since you’re the youngest (by 12 minutes) and smallest, you’ve always had a special place in my heart… I’m just not looking forward to the day you are slamming your door and calling me the “murderer of love!” 
Always stay who you are, Stella.
As you can see, we have quite the spectrum of personalities in our household. It’s made our journey to this point even more interesting and I know it will only continue to get better in the years to come. I am really looking forward to seeing you all grow up, forge even better relationships with all of you, and grow as a family. I love you all very much!
Jason/Dad - 7.18.2009
I hate to get hopes up but the Dr. told us today that Stella is at least coming home tomorrow! Zoey also may come home with Stella tomorrow. Zoey graduated to an open crib today as she struggles to keep her own body temperature up. So far so good though. She was put in the crib at noon today and when I left around dinner time for home she was still maintaining. She must maintain her temperature for at least 24 hrs. before she is cleared to go. They are both almost back up to their birth weight also, so that might figure in to discharging them both tomorrow. We could end up with Lucy at home, 1 newborn- Stella- at home, and 1 at the hospital still- Zoey. Not sure until late tomorrow afternoon what will happen.
I hesitated to post this because the last 2 weeks have been the hardest and longest roller coaster for Jason and I and Lucy for sure and I really, really don’t want to get my hopes up about them coming home at any certain day. Who knows, maybe they will end up not getting home tomorrow. Its really hour by hour. However, they had 4 more sets of twins (2 girl-girl- all in our girls’ pod, 1 boy-boy and 1boy-girl) born and put into the NICU in one night recently so they are kinda edging ours out the door!
On the other hand, its pretty scary thinking about both of them home with Lucy and how we will juggle everyone’s needs and spend quality time with each of them- let alone get them all fed! My neighbor and good friend, who had her second son 3 days before we had the twins (we were in the hospital together too!) told me her goals for this summer were for no one to get hurt and everyone to stay fed! HA! Very realistic actually! In all seriousness though, we know those sleepless nights all too well and how easy it is to wear thin and not be at your best for each other in these difficult times. BUT, Its totally true that you find out what you’re made of, how strong you are, how vulnerable you are, how strong you can be for each other and what you can take for each other at times like this. This is without a doubt the hardest time of our lives so far and I am sure we’ll still continue to struggle for a while once both the girls are home. These are also the times of incredible growth too, which I really look forward to and know we’ll be proud of later.
I have to also thank everyone who’s been supportive of us through all of this either by spending time with Lucy, giving me rides to the hospital everyday since I still can’t drive from surgery, holding the babies in between feedings at the hospital, bringing food to us or simply sharing laughs and listening through tears. I also have to thank Lucy for being so patient, sweet, happy, understanding and flexible with us and all the running around and upheaval that’s been our life the last several months since I was put on modified bed rest in May. She is really the best kid in the world and has never complained or been anyone other than her laid back, contented self through all this. Thanks to both our Moms and Dads, Aunt Chris and Uncle Bill, our siblings, Brian and Kari, my Gram and Aunt Michelle, Aunt Marge, Kim, Melissa and other friends and family members that sent along good wishes and gifts! I know that you’ll all say to me “Stop thanking me already!” but really, you have no idea how its pulled us through.
Ok- I’m off to tie up some last minute loose ends before tomorrow! I am hoping I can post some great (but tired) news very soon!
Two more pictures of the ladies
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In addition to the swimmies picture, my aunt sent over these two great pictures:
Stella sleeping
Zoey wide awake!
Finally got approval to post some pics!
Mom and Zoey
Mom and Stella
Looking back…
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I was importing today’s pictures into iPhoto and decided to go back and look at Lucy’s birth pictures. Very interesting! Take a look for yourself – no resemblance or anything, huh?
Lucy right after she was born.
Stella right after she was born.
Zoey right after she was born.
The twins have arrived!
Zoey resting in the NICU
Stella exhausted after a long day
Zoey Isabelle Dettbarn arrived at 3:23pm today, weighing 4lbs 13oz. Stella Elizabeth Dettbarn arrived 3:35pm, weighing 4lbs 11oz. Amazingly exciting, happy and terrifying all at once. I’ll fill in more detail later, since it is kind of late and I am beat… but it was a long day. If you are interested in the story in 140 character increments, check out my Twitter page for the updates!
More coming soon. The real adventure begins now!
Thanks for all the well wishes and notes. We really appreciate the thoughts and support from all of our friends and family. It really means a lot to both of us!
(And Melisa is resting and doing well. I’m sure she’ll sleep good tonight!)