We spent about an hour there in their kids section enjoying their new kid friendly furniture. Lucy was trying to read like a big girl by herself and was very good at being quiet. Stella was also very interested in the books and wanted me to read to her a lot. She actually picked out a couple of board books, including “baby party”. Hilarious. Zoey generally worked on the demolition of the kids section and I furiously put books back non-stop. On the way out, Lucy got her very first library card! She was so excited and has carried it around all day.

Lucy’s first library card

Nap time came early, but hey, I wasn’t complaining. Lucy and I even caught a nap together on the couch as JD worked away. That’s my favorite. Everyone was up by 2 (ugh!) and the sun was shining! We ended up going outside for a pool party complete with Creedlets. In usual fashion that quickly evolved into everyone taking their clothes off (ahem, kids only). It was fun till it lasted and impending potty usage and a second rain storm stopped us .

Good timing too, it was almost time for Stella’s speech therapy. Stella did much better this time, showing the therapist things and actually saying a few words. She was also not glued to my side and seemed more comfortable. However, she did run and hide a few times. Looking forward to next week and seeing how she grows again.

Finally, Lucy did some pee on the potty! It was only like 2 drops but it was yellow and darn she (and I!) worked hard to get it in there today. She was telling me when she had to go outside and then running inside 3 times to try after. She is starting to be aware of it and is able to hold it to run- yay! SOOOO, as promised, we went to Target (aka toy store) to use some of her bday gift cards to buy her something she wanted. I know, I know, but at this point I am just throwing bribes out there.

So, it turns out target is a gold mine for a toddler. First it was gardening tools, then glitter glue, then sparkly sandals with heels, then a GIANT little people barn for one yr. olds, then a box of gum balls, then a baby “goth” purple shirt with fake chains all over it and matching black ripped tutu, then finally after all that deliberation……

GUMBALLS win!

This potty training thing is really interesting on a frustration, developmental, personal, biological and consumeristic level. Deep down inside, I really feel like she will wake up some day and just say, no more diapers for me! I just feel like that will happen. Until then any tips are appreciated!!

In which a penguin sells a whole lot of junk to an unsuspecting family.

Tonight, while playing with Lucy, she told me a story of a family who went for a ride. The family ran into a penguin, who sold them a TV set for their house. The family returned the TV set to their house. The family gathered around the TV and enjoyed a nice show. They then went back outside and packed into their mini-van. Low and behold, who pops out of their bus at the end of the road, but the leader penguin! (Yes, this pack of penguins lived in a school bus.) The penguin proceeded to sell everything under the sun to the family, from food to a huge diamond ring to a robot. (Yes, that is C-3pO’s legs sticking out of the top!) So much so, one of the “little fellas” (read one of the kids) couldn’t fit in the van any longer, nor the family dog.

Those penguins sure drive a hard bargain.

So, what does this have to do with real life? Yesterday, we drove back from Albany with a van full of Missy’s childhood and a canoe on the roof. Amazing how kids can build off such a simple story to create something that fits in their play world.

Lucy: Look, dadda, the moon!

Me: Oh, yeah, that is the moon. Very cool!

Lucy: Dadda, bring it down here.

Me: I wish I could!

Lucy: No, dadda, jump up and get it.

Me: I wish I could do that too! It’s really, really, really far away.

Lucy: No, dadda, jump up high and bring it down here.

Conversations like that are what’s amazing about kids – they don’t have any idea of what’s not possible. Whereas our (us “grown ups”) first instinct, a lot of the time, is that’s not possible or I can’t do that. Something changes us and our outlook. I’m thinking school [with varying degrees of crushing negativism, depending on race/class/gender] or maybe it’s just us “grown ups” projecting our own ingrained negative thinking upon kids. What ever it is, I think it’s pretty sad.  Imagine how much more we could accomplish if we first thought in terms of ‘how can I do that’, rather than ‘why I can’t do that’.

Just something to think about when you have an idea, goal, or challenge in front of you… it might not be bringing the moon down to your kid, but it still can be something as ‘simple’ as that project you  always talked yourself out of starting.

It’s been an amazing ride. One I certainly never expected to take, but I’m glad it happened. There have certainly been rough times for all of us and we’ve certainly all made life difficult for one another at various points, but I have no doubt that we’ll be a stronger family for it — the love between all of us is obvious, even when we’re exhausted and/or frustrated.

Melisa, you are an amazing person. You have dealt with so much the last two years and you keep coming back for more. You are a role model for sure. A talented, loving natural parent and juggler of three (sometimes four) babies, (if you count Milo!). I’m not sure how you do it ever day.You’ve got things down to a science and the house runs like clockwork, until I get home and mess things up. You have certainly taught me a lot and I only hope I can keep improving as a parent, in order to catch up to you one day. I love you and look up to you in every way.

Lucy, you are an amazing kid. Most days you handle being the ‘big’ sister (at two) really well. You’re even starting to be very sweet to your sisters, telling them you love them, sharing your toys, and helping momma out. It’s been a tough road and I can only imagine what it’s like to be at a point in life where you expect all the attention, only to have to share it with two sisters. You are blossoming into a sweet, intelligent kid, though, and I love you dearly. We built up a special bond when momma was pregnant with your sisters and I’m really glad we were able to do that – it really helped me get comfortable with being a parent, being able to open up and just have fun. I’m really looking forward to watching you grow up.

Zoey, you are probably the sweetest kid in the house – which is amazing given how fussy and crabby you were during the first few months. We now know what could have contributed to that, but in the end nothing beats the smile you give me when I walk in the room or come home from work. It makes the day instantly better. Your snuggles and hugs are pretty good too. You seem genuinely happy, which is amazing after all you’ve been through. I know it’s been hard for you, not being completely mobile, in a house with two very mobile sisters… not getting the attention, not being able to join in with your sisters right away, not to mention being able to move… but, in the end I think it’s helped us bond with you more. I know my love for you grows with every smile you give, every time you snuggle in when I pick you up, and every time you try to share your pacifier with me. Always stay happy and sweet, Zo-Zo.

Stella, Stella, Stella. Why do I have a feeling you’ll be the one giving us the most trouble when you are a teenager (definitely not the temper tantrums or mischievous behavior that started at like 6 months… nah) ?! Seriously, though, you are hilarious. Always talking, always doing funny, off-beat stuff, and always getting into things. Your smile and laugh is infectious, for sure. You certainly put a smile on our faces! You are incredibly active and always keep us (and your sisters) on our toes. Lucy has become very good at “No, Stella! No!” any time you even look at her.  You adore her regardless. It’s very obvious you love your sisters. Always talking to them and smiling. You are going to be a great sister and friend to them. For me, since you’re the youngest (by 12 minutes) and smallest, you’ve always had a special place in my heart… I’m just not looking forward to the day you are slamming your door and calling me the “murderer of love!” Always stay who you are, Stella.

As you can see, we have quite the spectrum of personalities in our household. It’s made our journey to this point even more interesting and I know it will only continue to get better in the years to come. I am really looking forward to seeing you all grow up, forge even better relationships with all of you, and grow as a family. I love you all very much!

Jason/Dad  - 7.18.2009

{Lucy in bath, on her hands and knees, lifting butt in the air}

Melisa: Hey Lu, do you have to go poopy?
Lucy: Yes.
Melisa: Are you pooping right now?
Lucy: Oh, yeah.

{Melisa quickly exits bathroom and says “Good luck!”}

For the record, no poop. This time.

On a side note, the few memories I have are from the first few weeks:  Sitting alone with the babies in a silent dark NICU room.  My Dad sitting on the couch with me on his computer giving JD and myself (and everyone else we know) personality tests while the kids slept when he stayed with us (sorry Mom, no memories of you with us, except one with you standing in the doorway of our house strangely).  Jump to Halloween- bringing Lucy around the neighborhood and having a good time, but wierdly I don’t have any memory of where the twins were (in the stroller?).  Next memory is Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ house in Ballston Lake with Brian and Lacy.  Anyway, you get the picture.  I have to really sit here and work at it to recall any memories.  Pictures help, but even then, its like I don’t recognize myself.

But why should I?  I am a completely different person to the core after this year.  More on that later I suppose or maybe not.  It will take some serious time and reflection to figure out what the hell happened to me this year.  One thing is for sure: I like who I’ve grown into this year a million times better than who I was before, and for that, I will be thankful my entire life.  I am more humble, don’t take things as granted and am less judgmental.

So, an update!  We are almost there girlies!  This first birthday thing will truly feel like a celebration for the mom and dad, as they say!

People always ask, How are the girls?  And my reply is, Oh, their good.   Generic, boring and well, they are good anyway.  Here is more of a little peak at all of them lately.

Stella:  We may have identified the future ring leader/mastermind behind all attempts to sneak out and generally be mischevious in the teen years!  Stella has grown from a quiet baby that just liked to look around and observe to a very active and eccentric almost-toddler.  Stella crawls and she just doesn’t crawl to be curious.  She chases me, Lucy, the cat and anything else with a huge smile on her face and the occasional snickery laugh.  She always has that look in her eye- I will charm you, draw you in and then I will try to do what I want!  She laughs and smiles almost constantly, but also gets frustrated as easily.  She bangs her head on the floor when we take a toy away, she screams and writhes on the floor when we attempt to change her diaper and literally throws a temper tantrum when she has to wait for what she wants.  She eats like an absolute pig and I don’t mean just eats a lot- she really does eat like a pig!  She scarfs the food down and screams the second its gone for more!  She is definitely a live wire of a kid.   She is fantastically fun, but she is also the one I have to watch like a hawk for getting into things.  She is little, quick, stubborn, sneaky and incredibly funny.  She just started saying Da-da recently and started crawling a couple of weeks ago.  It will be interesting to see where these early personality leanings may take her (and us)!

Zoey: Wow, has Zoey changed a lot too.  Zoey started out life chronically unhappy it seemed.  We were always worried for her as she cried constantly, seemingly without reason, didn’t seem to want to be held at all and generally didn’t have a warm personality.  In the beginning she was so hard to connect with, which worried me sick.

If you recall she had some issues with some extra spinal fluid around her cerebrum and in the cerebral spaces, which we discovered around 6 months old.  It was deemed that this was not a normal occurrence, but not totally out of the ordinary either.  The condition was watched and over time the fluid actually began to dissipate and look less and less likely that she would have long term health and developmental issues.  At our last check up with the neurosurgeon, it seemed this issue was resolving completely and we go back for another check up in September to check again.  But, at this point all seems fine with that.  One interesting thing the neurosurgeon did say was that the extra pressure on the brain could have caused the fussiness and crying in the early days.  I always wonder if she was in chronic pain from that, making those first months for us and her so hard.

So, now, Zoey is the calmest baby we have.  She is so sweet, gentle, chubby, rosy cheeked, wide eyed, soft and snuggly.  She definitely gets tired when she gets tired and gets fussy, but literally thats about the only time she cries now.  She leans in to give kisses, was the first to wave hello to us and try to say her first word (besides da-da), Peekaboo (or da-da-boo).  Today she even said Ma-ma!  When you hug her she grabs on tight and puts her little face into your neck.  Even when I carry her in the backpack carrier, she leans forward to rest her cubby cheeks on the back of my neck.  She is definitely more low key than Lucy or Stella and goes with the flow easier.  Her smile is also contagious- when she smiles her whole body radiates.  She doesn’t have any interest in crawling however, but LOVES to walk with your fingers and on the walker.  In fact, that’s all she wants to do.  Maybe she’ll skip to walking all together.  For all the talk of possible delays because of this fluid issue on the brain, she has been the one to do most things first out of the two of them.

Interestingly though, they seem to do things in the opposite, just like their personalities are different.  As twins go, they are very different and anyone who knows them well can usually tell them apart by now.  But, if you know anything about fraternal twins, they are just two different siblings that happen to be born at the same time.  Twin misconceptions are fascinating to me, especially the odd questions we get in the stores.  Having these two has been an incredible personal study in science, genetics, family history and social aspects of child-rearing- especially for a science teacher like myself!

Lucy:  Just when I get thinking of how tough this last year must have been on Lucy, I remind myself of how lucky she is to have two sisters that adore her, that she can boss around, mother like crazy and will eventually and hopefully be her close confidants.  The best gift I think we could give her was a sibling and we outdid ourselves (ha ha).  This year has taught us all a lot about the power of sticking together and leaning on one another, her included.  Its not all about Lucy anymore and I think she has more than rose to the occasion.

Lucy is still the naturally inquistive, extremely busy, quick and clever kid she always was.  She is outgoing, open, expressive and quick to make friends although I rarely see her make the first move; in other words, she isn’t the real agressive type, although having some competition from Zoey and Stella now might change that.

She is also very, very verbal.  She uses 4-5 word sentences and her father believes “she talks almost constantly, like someone else I know..”  Hmm…wonder who that could be?  She loves being outside and LOVES animals.  However, she is terrified of bugs and things in nature that may move quickly (leaves, wind, tree branches, etc.) or are just different (sand).  It takes her time to warm up to new situations and fully jump in, although she’ll keep exploring even if she is scared.    She loves tutus, dancing like a ballerina, dancing in general, dancing in the department store bathroom, dancing while in line… well you understand.  The kid is busy and likes to move almost constantly.  She also likes to climb, climb, climb.  We spend a lot of time at playgrounds too.  She likes her dresses, but the minute the interfere with her movement, forget it- their off!  Most of her friends are boys, which is good- we learn a lot from them.  However, she seems to be pretty confident in being herself, even in the midst of other persuasions.

She is definitely asserting her independence lately too and its so bittersweet.  She knows what she must do in and in order to grow she has to push us away a bit.  You can see in her eye that she wants to do things all alone, but its a scary proposition to let go of the comfort zone of mom and dad.  What a confusing, frustrating and dynamic age.  I’d be lying if I didn’t lose my cool much more than I wish.  I try to remind myself that I am growing up and wrapping my head around all of this with her too.  Imagine what it must feel like for a 2 year old.  I can’t even think of what this house will be like in a year when we have 2 two year olds and a 3 year old asserting themselves!

JD and I: Not much new here!  JD is enjoying his new passion for Battlestar Galactica (he he) but has slowly fallen away from old hobbies as a young family requires.  The girls (including me!) keep him pretty busy.  :)  He still has time to do his computer stuff, which for me is too technical and confusing to record here!  I am finishing up a project 8 months in the making for the Buffalo Museum of Science designing camps and it feels good to see it finally coming to fruition.  I will return to teaching in the Fall at Pembroke and am very excited to get back in there with some new ideas.  We’ve also hired 2 part time nannies to care for the girls while we are both working.  One has already started babysitting and the girls love her.  We are very thankful for that.   We also began a babysitting co-op on our block that might be expanding to be a real deal and we are anxiously awaiting a new addition in the house next door (tomorrow!) and Margie’s twin boys on the way later this summer.  I’ll finally be an aunt (x2).. well sort of!  I am growing veggies again with Lucy (they were planted on her birthday!), we get to see friends and family almost every day so life is good.  And seems to getting to a new sort of “normal”.  I am glad, very glad for that.  :)