Archives for posts with tag: Lucy

Lucy and I went out for a walk tonight after dinner. Here’s a portion of our conversation:

Lucy: Look, dadda, the moon!

Me: Oh, yeah, that is the moon. Very cool!

Lucy: Dadda, bring it down here.

Me: I wish I could!

Lucy: No, dadda, jump up and get it.

Me: I wish I could do that too! It’s really, really, really far away.

Lucy: No, dadda, jump up high and bring it down here.

Conversations like that are what’s amazing about kids – they don’t have any idea of what’s not possible. Whereas our (us “grown ups”) first instinct, a lot of the time, is that’s not possible or I can’t do that. Something changes us and our outlook. I’m thinking school [with varying degrees of crushing negativism, depending on race/class/gender] or maybe it’s just us “grown ups” projecting our own ingrained negative thinking upon kids. What ever it is, I think it’s pretty sad.  Imagine how much more we could accomplish if we first thought in terms of ‘how can I do that’, rather than ‘why I can’t do that’.

Just something to think about when you have an idea, goal, or challenge in front of you… it might not be bringing the moon down to your kid, but it still can be something as ’simple’ as that project you  always talked yourself out of starting.

The twins first birthday! Happy Birthday Zoey and Stella. Can’t believe it’s been one year already. Time certainly flies by, although I do feel like I’ve aged about 5 years in that time!

It’s been an amazing ride. One I certainly never expected to take, but I’m glad it happened. There have certainly been rough times for all of us and we’ve certainly all made life difficult for one another at various points, but I have no doubt that we’ll be a stronger family for it — the love between all of us is obvious, even when we’re exhausted and/or frustrated.

Melisa, you are an amazing person. You have dealt with so much the last two years and you keep coming back for more. You are a role model for sure. A talented, loving natural parent and juggler of three (sometimes four) babies, (if you count Milo!). I’m not sure how you do it ever day.You’ve got things down to a science and the house runs like clockwork, until I get home and mess things up. ;) You have certainly taught me a lot and I only hope I can keep improving as a parent, in order to catch up to you one day. I love you and look up to you in every way.

Lucy, you are an amazing kid. Most days you handle being the ‘big’ sister (at two) really well. You’re even starting to be very sweet to your sisters, telling them you love them, sharing your toys, and helping momma out. It’s been a tough road and I can only imagine what it’s like to be at a point in life where you expect all the attention, only to have to share it with two sisters. You are blossoming into a sweet, intelligent kid, though, and I love you dearly. We built up a special bond when momma was pregnant with your sisters and I’m really glad we were able to do that – it really helped me get comfortable with being a parent, being able to open up and just have fun. I’m really looking forward to watching you grow up.

Zoey, you are probably the sweetest kid in the house – which is amazing given how fussy and crabby you were during the first few months. We now know what could have contributed to that, but in the end nothing beats the smile you give me when I walk in the room or come home from work. It makes the day instantly better. Your snuggles and hugs are pretty good too. You seem genuinely happy, which is amazing after all you’ve been through. I know it’s been hard for you, not being completely mobile, in a house with two very mobile sisters… not getting the attention, not being able to join in with your sisters right away, not to mention being able to move… but, in the end I think it’s helped us bond with you more. I know my love for you grows with every smile you give, every time you snuggle in when I pick you up, and every time you try to share your pacifier with me. Always stay happy and sweet, Zo-Zo.

Stella, Stella, Stella. Why do I have a feeling you’ll be the one giving us the most trouble when you are a teenager (definitely not the temper tantrums or mischievous behavior that started at like 6 months… nah) ?! Seriously, though, you are hilarious. Always talking, always doing funny, off-beat stuff, and always getting into things. Your smile and laugh is infectious, for sure. You certainly put a smile on our faces! You are incredibly active and always keep us (and your sisters) on our toes. Lucy has become very good at “No, Stella! No!” any time you even look at her.  You adore her regardless. It’s very obvious you love your sisters. Always talking to them and smiling. You are going to be a great sister and friend to them. For me, since you’re the youngest (by 12 minutes) and smallest, you’ve always had a special place in my heart… I’m just not looking forward to the day you are slamming your door and calling me the “murderer of love!” :) Always stay who you are, Stella.

As you can see, we have quite the spectrum of personalities in our household. It’s made our journey to this point even more interesting and I know it will only continue to get better in the years to come. I am really looking forward to seeing you all grow up, forge even better relationships with all of you, and grow as a family. I love you all very much!

Jason/Dad  - 7.18.2009

Courtesy of Aunt Marge from our picnic at Delaware Park this past weekend:

Last night in the bath tub…

{Lucy in bath, on her hands and knees, lifting butt in the air}

Melisa: Hey Lu, do you have to go poopy?
Lucy: Yes.
Melisa: Are you pooping right now?
Lucy: Oh, yeah.

{Melisa quickly exits bathroom and says “Good luck!”}

For the record, no poop. This time.

Wowsers, where has the last year gone.  Zoey and Stella will be 1 in a little less than a month.  I know I’d feel like this but I am really glad I am here now, eventhough I really wish I could go back and “see” what life was like over the last 11 months.   Its a total blur.  I remembered a lot with Lucy and now, next to nothing of the twins’ first year.  Sad, but I guess necessary.  The fact that I have literally 1 or 2 memories I can call up myself from the twins’ 1st 6 months tells you something about what my brain and body was doing that my brain literally didn’t build any memories.  Or maybe I blocked them out!?  Post traumatic stress anyone??  HA!

On a side note, the few memories I have are from the first few weeks:  Sitting alone with the babies in a silent dark NICU room.  My Dad sitting on the couch with me on his computer giving JD and myself (and everyone else we know) personality tests while the kids slept when he stayed with us (sorry Mom, no memories of you with us, except one with you standing in the doorway of our house strangely).  Jump to Halloween- bringing Lucy around the neighborhood and having a good time, but wierdly I don’t have any memory of where the twins were (in the stroller?).  Next memory is Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ house in Ballston Lake with Brian and Lacy.  Anyway, you get the picture.  I have to really sit here and work at it to recall any memories.  Pictures help, but even then, its like I don’t recognize myself.

But why should I?  I am a completely different person to the core after this year.  More on that later I suppose or maybe not.  It will take some serious time and reflection to figure out what the hell happened to me this year.  One thing is for sure: I like who I’ve grown into this year a million times better than who I was before, and for that, I will be thankful my entire life.  I am more humble, don’t take things as granted and am less judgmental.

So, an update!  We are almost there girlies!  This first birthday thing will truly feel like a celebration for the mom and dad, as they say!

People always ask, How are the girls?  And my reply is, Oh, their good.   Generic, boring and well, they are good anyway.  Here is more of a little peak at all of them lately.

(more…)

I love when unscripted, unplanned videos come out so well!


Lucy Dancing from Jason Dettbarn on Vimeo.

I hate to get hopes up but the Dr. told us today that Stella is at least coming home tomorrow!  Zoey also may come home with Stella tomorrow.  Zoey graduated to an open crib today as she struggles to keep her own body temperature up.  So far so good though.  She was put in the crib at noon today and when I left around dinner time for home she was still maintaining.  She must maintain her temperature for at least 24 hrs. before she is cleared to go.  They are both almost back up to their birth weight also, so that might figure in to discharging them both tomorrow.  We could end up with Lucy at home, 1 newborn- Stella- at home, and 1 at the hospital still- Zoey.  Not sure until late tomorrow afternoon what will happen.

I hesitated to post this because the last 2 weeks have been the hardest and longest roller coaster for Jason and I and Lucy for sure and I really, really don’t want to get my hopes up about them coming home at any certain day.  Who knows, maybe they will end up not getting home tomorrow.  Its really hour by hour.  However, they had 4 more sets of twins (2 girl-girl- all in our girls’ pod, 1 boy-boy and 1boy-girl) born and put into the NICU in one night recently so they are kinda edging ours out the door!  :)

On the other hand, its pretty scary thinking about both of them home with Lucy and how we will juggle everyone’s needs and spend quality time with each of them- let alone get them all fed!  My neighbor and good friend, who had her second son 3 days before we had the twins (we were in the hospital together too!) told me her goals for this summer were for no one to get hurt and everyone to stay fed!  HA!  Very realistic actually!  In all seriousness though, we know those sleepless nights all too well and how easy it is to wear thin and not be at your best for each other in these difficult times.  BUT, Its totally true that you find out what you’re made of, how strong you are, how vulnerable you are, how strong you can be for each other and what you can take for each other at times like this.  This is without a doubt the hardest time of our lives so far and I am sure we’ll still continue to struggle for a while once both the girls are home.  These are also the times of incredible growth too, which I really look forward to and know we’ll be proud of later.

I have to also thank everyone who’s been supportive of us through all of this either by spending time with Lucy, giving me rides to the hospital everyday since I still can’t drive from surgery, holding the babies in between feedings at the hospital, bringing food to us or simply sharing laughs and listening through tears.  I also have to thank Lucy for being so patient, sweet, happy, understanding and flexible with us and all the running around and upheaval that’s been our life the last several months since I was put on modified bed rest in May.  She is really the best kid in the world and has never complained or been anyone other than her laid back, contented self through all this. Thanks to both our Moms and Dads, Aunt Chris and Uncle Bill, our siblings, Brian and Kari, my Gram and Aunt Michelle, Aunt Marge, Kim, Melissa and other friends and family members that sent along good wishes and gifts!  I know that you’ll all say to me “Stop thanking me already!” but really, you have no idea how its pulled us through.

Ok- I’m off to tie up some last minute loose ends before tomorrow!  I am hoping I can post some great (but tired) news very soon!