So, I’ve been home from work on “house arrest” since May 16th now- my 26th week of pregnancy. House arrest simply means that I need to be off my feet most of the day, not lift things (such as Lucy) and generally take it as easy as possible. Being home has been really different than teaching every day and pretty mundane, but not as hard as I thought it would be actually to not being doing much. I guess when your body tells you to slow down, you have no choice. I spend my days doing stuff on the computer, some light stuff around the house, watching ridiculously mind-numbing TV and finally, meeting JD at daycare to pick up Lucy together.
What is strange though is that I don’t have Lucy with me during the day and can’t fully care for her when we are alone. It is simply hard to get off the floor and get down onto the floor with her at this point, let alone changing her and lifting her in and out of her crib. I watch her leave with JD in the morning for daycare and wonder what she is doing with other people and kids all day- that is the hardest part. This morning, she crawled away from me to JD and called him Mama, giving him a hug, when she was sad. I was so sad. Due to me not being able to physically handle her, our relationship is definitely changing and she is relying on Dad more, which is sweet, but I’d be lying if I said I wasn’t sad sometimes about us losing some closeness. I try to maintain perspective that this has to happen and is a natural part of growing a family and is seen in all cultures, but still at 6:30am I want to be the “Mama”!
