Wowsers, where has the last year gone. Zoey and Stella will be 1 in a little less than a month. I know I’d feel like this but I am really glad I am here now, eventhough I really wish I could go back and “see” what life was like over the last 11 months. Its a total blur. I remembered a lot with Lucy and now, next to nothing of the twins’ first year. Sad, but I guess necessary. The fact that I have literally 1 or 2 memories I can call up myself from the twins’ 1st 6 months tells you something about what my brain and body was doing that my brain literally didn’t build any memories. Or maybe I blocked them out!? Post traumatic stress anyone?? HA!
On a side note, the few memories I have are from the first few weeks: Sitting alone with the babies in a silent dark NICU room. My Dad sitting on the couch with me on his computer giving JD and myself (and everyone else we know) personality tests while the kids slept when he stayed with us (sorry Mom, no memories of you with us, except one with you standing in the doorway of our house strangely). Jump to Halloween- bringing Lucy around the neighborhood and having a good time, but wierdly I don’t have any memory of where the twins were (in the stroller?). Next memory is Thanksgiving dinner at my parents’ house in Ballston Lake with Brian and Lacy. Anyway, you get the picture. I have to really sit here and work at it to recall any memories. Pictures help, but even then, its like I don’t recognize myself.
But why should I? I am a completely different person to the core after this year. More on that later I suppose or maybe not. It will take some serious time and reflection to figure out what the hell happened to me this year. One thing is for sure: I like who I’ve grown into this year a million times better than who I was before, and for that, I will be thankful my entire life. I am more humble, don’t take things as granted and am less judgmental.
So, an update! We are almost there girlies! This first birthday thing will truly feel like a celebration for the mom and dad, as they say!
People always ask, How are the girls? And my reply is, Oh, their good. Generic, boring and well, they are good anyway. Here is more of a little peak at all of them lately.
Stella: We may have identified the future ring leader/mastermind behind all attempts to sneak out and generally be mischevious in the teen years! Stella has grown from a quiet baby that just liked to look around and observe to a very active and eccentric almost-toddler. Stella crawls and she just doesn’t crawl to be curious. She chases me, Lucy, the cat and anything else with a huge smile on her face and the occasional snickery laugh. She always has that look in her eye- I will charm you, draw you in and then I will try to do what I want! She laughs and smiles almost constantly, but also gets frustrated as easily. She bangs her head on the floor when we take a toy away, she screams and writhes on the floor when we attempt to change her diaper and literally throws a temper tantrum when she has to wait for what she wants. She eats like an absolute pig and I don’t mean just eats a lot- she really does eat like a pig! She scarfs the food down and screams the second its gone for more! She is definitely a live wire of a kid. She is fantastically fun, but she is also the one I have to watch like a hawk for getting into things. She is little, quick, stubborn, sneaky and incredibly funny. She just started saying Da-da recently and started crawling a couple of weeks ago. It will be interesting to see where these early personality leanings may take her (and us)!
Zoey: Wow, has Zoey changed a lot too. Zoey started out life chronically unhappy it seemed. We were always worried for her as she cried constantly, seemingly without reason, didn’t seem to want to be held at all and generally didn’t have a warm personality. In the beginning she was so hard to connect with, which worried me sick.
If you recall she had some issues with some extra spinal fluid around her cerebrum and in the cerebral spaces, which we discovered around 6 months old. It was deemed that this was not a normal occurrence, but not totally out of the ordinary either. The condition was watched and over time the fluid actually began to dissipate and look less and less likely that she would have long term health and developmental issues. At our last check up with the neurosurgeon, it seemed this issue was resolving completely and we go back for another check up in September to check again. But, at this point all seems fine with that. One interesting thing the neurosurgeon did say was that the extra pressure on the brain could have caused the fussiness and crying in the early days. I always wonder if she was in chronic pain from that, making those first months for us and her so hard.
So, now, Zoey is the calmest baby we have. She is so sweet, gentle, chubby, rosy cheeked, wide eyed, soft and snuggly. She definitely gets tired when she gets tired and gets fussy, but literally thats about the only time she cries now. She leans in to give kisses, was the first to wave hello to us and try to say her first word (besides da-da), Peekaboo (or da-da-boo). Today she even said Ma-ma! When you hug her she grabs on tight and puts her little face into your neck. Even when I carry her in the backpack carrier, she leans forward to rest her cubby cheeks on the back of my neck. She is definitely more low key than Lucy or Stella and goes with the flow easier. Her smile is also contagious- when she smiles her whole body radiates. She doesn’t have any interest in crawling however, but LOVES to walk with your fingers and on the walker. In fact, that’s all she wants to do. Maybe she’ll skip to walking all together. For all the talk of possible delays because of this fluid issue on the brain, she has been the one to do most things first out of the two of them.
Interestingly though, they seem to do things in the opposite, just like their personalities are different. As twins go, they are very different and anyone who knows them well can usually tell them apart by now. But, if you know anything about fraternal twins, they are just two different siblings that happen to be born at the same time. Twin misconceptions are fascinating to me, especially the odd questions we get in the stores. Having these two has been an incredible personal study in science, genetics, family history and social aspects of child-rearing- especially for a science teacher like myself!
Lucy: Just when I get thinking of how tough this last year must have been on Lucy, I remind myself of how lucky she is to have two sisters that adore her, that she can boss around, mother like crazy and will eventually and hopefully be her close confidants. The best gift I think we could give her was a sibling and we outdid ourselves (ha ha). This year has taught us all a lot about the power of sticking together and leaning on one another, her included. Its not all about Lucy anymore and I think she has more than rose to the occasion.
Lucy is still the naturally inquistive, extremely busy, quick and clever kid she always was. She is outgoing, open, expressive and quick to make friends although I rarely see her make the first move; in other words, she isn’t the real agressive type, although having some competition from Zoey and Stella now might change that.
She is also very, very verbal. She uses 4-5 word sentences and her father believes “she talks almost constantly, like someone else I know..” Hmm…wonder who that could be? She loves being outside and LOVES animals. However, she is terrified of bugs and things in nature that may move quickly (leaves, wind, tree branches, etc.) or are just different (sand). It takes her time to warm up to new situations and fully jump in, although she’ll keep exploring even if she is scared. She loves tutus, dancing like a ballerina, dancing in general, dancing in the department store bathroom, dancing while in line… well you understand. The kid is busy and likes to move almost constantly. She also likes to climb, climb, climb. We spend a lot of time at playgrounds too. She likes her dresses, but the minute the interfere with her movement, forget it- their off! Most of her friends are boys, which is good- we learn a lot from them. However, she seems to be pretty confident in being herself, even in the midst of other persuasions.
She is definitely asserting her independence lately too and its so bittersweet. She knows what she must do in and in order to grow she has to push us away a bit. You can see in her eye that she wants to do things all alone, but its a scary proposition to let go of the comfort zone of mom and dad. What a confusing, frustrating and dynamic age. I’d be lying if I didn’t lose my cool much more than I wish. I try to remind myself that I am growing up and wrapping my head around all of this with her too. Imagine what it must feel like for a 2 year old. I can’t even think of what this house will be like in a year when we have 2 two year olds and a 3 year old asserting themselves!
JD and I: Not much new here! JD is enjoying his new passion for Battlestar Galactica (he he) but has slowly fallen away from old hobbies as a young family requires. The girls (including me!) keep him pretty busy. :) He still has time to do his computer stuff, which for me is too technical and confusing to record here! I am finishing up a project 8 months in the making for the Buffalo Museum of Science designing camps and it feels good to see it finally coming to fruition. I will return to teaching in the Fall at Pembroke and am very excited to get back in there with some new ideas. We’ve also hired 2 part time nannies to care for the girls while we are both working. One has already started babysitting and the girls love her. We are very thankful for that. We also began a babysitting co-op on our block that might be expanding to be a real deal and we are anxiously awaiting a new addition in the house next door (tomorrow!) and Margie’s twin boys on the way later this summer. I’ll finally be an aunt (x2).. well sort of! I am growing veggies again with Lucy (they were planted on her birthday!), we get to see friends and family almost every day so life is good. And seems to getting to a new sort of “normal”. I am glad, very glad for that. :)