Zoey and Stella are both 1 month old today.  Its so crazy.  They’ve been home for 2 1/2 weeks now and are noticeably bigger, chubbier and becoming more alert.  Zoey is hovering around 6 lbs. and gained almost a pound in a week!  Stella is gaining a little slower and is about 5.5 lbs.  They are also sleeping together nicely and have started to look at each other which is so cool.  Sometimes they even try to nurse on each others hands or foreheads!   We have had 5 nights in a row now where they have fed 2 times at night and gone pretty much right back to sleep.  I think we might have a system that works down!  I am hoping to post some new pictures of them on flickr soon.

Not only is it easy to tell them apart, their personalities are also emerging different.  Stella definitely likes to be held more and likes to look around a lot.  She is also generally more patient when waiting to be fed, but is not as good at eating.  Zoey really only demands your attention when she’s hungry, but she loves her pacifier big time.  Zoey sleeps soundly and Stella does a lot of moving and noise-making while sleeping.  So far, they are very different, which is what I expected.  Its so inevitable, but so hard not to compare them.  This will be life for them right?  We are trying so hard to get to know them individually and not do the “dress them alike” constantly routine.  Its incredible to think of how life would be different for them if they were simply born at different times instead of how it happened, by luck, to be created at the same time, albeit from different DNA. Read the rest of this entry »

Lucy Dancing from Jason Dettbarn on Vimeo.

Okay… so Marge is bugging me for updates so now that I have a second to catch my breath, here is a little about what we’ve been up to the last week.  This is sure to be scattered as my mind is slowly leaving me!

Zoey and Stella came home last Thursday night and the fun began.  The rest is a blur…

Just kidding!  But, we have been honing our sense of humor with these new additions.  Life is truly crazier and, as it turns out, more funny, than anything that someone could make up!  We are trying hard to laugh when we feel like crying, but I still cry a lot!  It is so overwhelming at times.

The tough things have been just trying to meet everyone’s needs while trying to get some sleep and take it easy so I can still heal.  Obviously, feeding them takes a lot of time since they eat about every 3-4 hrs.  However, we’ve been able to keep them on the same schedule, eating at the same time or one right after the other.  Stella is learning slower how to eat, so I worry about her, but I am hopeful she’ll pick up.  I am even learning to nurse them simultaneously, which I am now convinced should be an olympic event!  It boils down to the fact that the only way to conserve time is to try to cut the feeding time in half.  When we feed them one at a time it takes well over an hour start to finish… then we start again in two hours or so.

They are still confusing night with day and are fussier at night, but the other night we topped them off with an extra bottle before bed to help them settle down as well as put them in the same crib at night.  We were told to keep them in separate cribs when we are sleeping, but I swear they sleep better when they are at least in the same crib, even if at different ends!  We may put their cribs right next to each other so they can see each other but not be in the same crib.  Anyway, some nights are better than others, last night we slept great from about 10:30-1am and then the rest of the night was full of toddler temper tantrums and off and on baby crying tag teaming us!  That was tough.  We managed to squeeze in a small nap this morning for an hour or so before they woke up from napping to catch up a little.  I am hoping tonight is better!

Its amazing how different the girls are too. Read the rest of this entry »

I hate to get hopes up but the Dr. told us today that Stella is at least coming home tomorrow!  Zoey also may come home with Stella tomorrow.  Zoey graduated to an open crib today as she struggles to keep her own body temperature up.  So far so good though.  She was put in the crib at noon today and when I left around dinner time for home she was still maintaining.  She must maintain her temperature for at least 24 hrs. before she is cleared to go.  They are both almost back up to their birth weight also, so that might figure in to discharging them both tomorrow.  We could end up with Lucy at home, 1 newborn- Stella- at home, and 1 at the hospital still- Zoey.  Not sure until late tomorrow afternoon what will happen.

I hesitated to post this because the last 2 weeks have been the hardest and longest roller coaster for Jason and I and Lucy for sure and I really, really don’t want to get my hopes up about them coming home at any certain day.  Who knows, maybe they will end up not getting home tomorrow.  Its really hour by hour.  However, they had 4 more sets of twins (2 girl-girl- all in our girls’ pod, 1 boy-boy and 1boy-girl) born and put into the NICU in one night recently so they are kinda edging ours out the door! 

On the other hand, its pretty scary thinking about both of them home with Lucy and how we will juggle everyone’s needs and spend quality time with each of them- let alone get them all fed!  My neighbor and good friend, who had her second son 3 days before we had the twins (we were in the hospital together too!) told me her goals for this summer were for no one to get hurt and everyone to stay fed!  HA!  Very realistic actually!  In all seriousness though, we know those sleepless nights all too well and how easy it is to wear thin and not be at your best for each other in these difficult times.  BUT, Its totally true that you find out what you’re made of, how strong you are, how vulnerable you are, how strong you can be for each other and what you can take for each other at times like this.  This is without a doubt the hardest time of our lives so far and I am sure we’ll still continue to struggle for a while once both the girls are home.  These are also the times of incredible growth too, which I really look forward to and know we’ll be proud of later.

I have to also thank everyone who’s been supportive of us through all of this either by spending time with Lucy, giving me rides to the hospital everyday since I still can’t drive from surgery, holding the babies in between feedings at the hospital, bringing food to us or simply sharing laughs and listening through tears.  I also have to thank Lucy for being so patient, sweet, happy, understanding and flexible with us and all the running around and upheaval that’s been our life the last several months since I was put on modified bed rest in May.  She is really the best kid in the world and has never complained or been anyone other than her laid back, contented self through all this. Thanks to both our Moms and Dads, Aunt Chris and Uncle Bill, our siblings, Brian and Kari, my Gram and Aunt Michelle, Aunt Marge, Kim, Melissa and other friends and family members that sent along good wishes and gifts!  I know that you’ll all say to me “Stop thanking me already!” but really, you have no idea how its pulled us through.

Ok- I’m off to tie up some last minute loose ends before tomorrow!  I am hoping I can post some great (but tired) news very soon!

In addition to the swimmies picture, my aunt sent over these two great pictures:

Stella sleeping

Zoey wide awake!

No Swimmies!

My Aunt Chris sent us this picture today in response to Melisa’s ‘Swimmies‘ post. She didn’t see the picture in the email at first (read the email on her Centro), so it was even funnier when I pointed out it was me when I was little! Thanks for making our night Aunt Chris!

This was the answer Jason gave me late last night when I commented that I didn’t know how he seemed to stay afloat among all of this running back and forth to the hospital to see the babies, taking care of Lucy, taking care of me, the house and going to work every day until the babies come home.  All I could do was laugh!

This weekend has got me thinking about “highs and lows”.  My great friends from the U of R Warner School (where I got my Masters in Science Education and still seem to not be able to tear myself away from) will be familiar with this if you ever spent any time in class with April (Dr. Luehmann)!  I used to love starting class hearing about everyone’s personal and professional highs and lows lately, realizing they are so intimately attached.  This reflection on how things are going has always stuck with me (kinda like Warner!) and I find myself often thinking this way, reevaluating moments, taking stock of experiences and just simply how things are going.  Its an awesome way to critically evaluate work, personal stuff, etc. and learn from your own experiences- highly recommend it!  The highs and lows from this weekend make me think about what our metaphorical “swimmies” just might be lately… Read the rest of this entry »

Finally got approval to post some pics!

Mom and Zoey

Mom and Stella

Its amazing how fast life can change forever.  The last 5 days since the babies were born have certainly been a roller coaster for all of us.  I can already tell this will be a long post and probably a little personal and maybe sad at points since our experiences are so vivid, fresh and will definitely be life-changing for both of us.  Jason has been running back and forth between home, work and me at the hospital.  Lucy was not home since Thursday night and we got to visit with her briefly on Saturday.  I was running back and forth between my room at the hospital and the NICU all day to feed the babies as much as possible, trying to rest and deal with the pain that comes with a natural and c-section delivery.  Jason’s family has generously taken on Lucy for us 24/7- she’s a pretty active little lady so I know it was draining!  It has been hard on everyone, but today things have changed.

I was finally able to come home last night.  Read the rest of this entry »

I was importing today’s pictures into iPhoto and decided to go back and look at Lucy’s birth pictures. Very interesting! Take a look for yourself - no resemblance or anything, huh?

Lucy right after she was born.

Stella right after she was born.

Zoey right after she was born.